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Bat Boy We Hardly Knew Ya
By Nancy Lindquist | August 7, 2007
On Sunday Gene was driving us back from dropping the boys at camp. In the last row of seats, I was playing with Herne. Bored and grumpy, he’s been making his displeasure heard for the last fifty miles by alternately crying and tossing missiles toward the front of the van. Reasoning that we would be home soon, was not working. There’s no reasoning with a four year old.
So Gene stopped and I climbed in the back with him. Unable to talk, Gene turned on NPR in time for the news. News that brought the adults to stunned silence. The Weekly World News is closing shop.
That’s right, the home of bat-boy, aliens who talk to our presidents (really, does anyone doubt this?), Mother Nature and other oddities will soon be no more.
Apart from entertainment and ridicule in the check-out line at the grocery store, Weekly World News editions have frequented my home when I am ill. If I’m sick, you can find me pushing a cart with bad tabloid papers, ginger ale and Jell-O through the aisles. It’s more accurate than Mother Nature’s endorsement of Al Gore for President.
No longer will I furtively hide a issue under the bologna, so no one will see me buying it, as I cough, sneeze and sputter through my purse for my wallet. No more urgent discussions with Gene about the stories that have the boys wondering if we’re serious, or not.
By-bye to stories that claim computers can get allergies and have itchy watery eyes on smiley faces, Senior Citizens with Cooties and pigs the size of a hamster are all going the way of the albatros.
I’ll miss you, Weekly World News. The next time a cold has me too stopped up to work and whiny on the couch, I will look for your Chicken’s Eat People articles and sigh.
Thanks for some memorable colds.
August 8th, 2007 at 1:43 am
I think WWN closed its doors because the real news was getting just too damned weird! They obviously couldn’t hack the competition.
August 8th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
What, no more Dick Cheney is a Robot Alien?
What will we do for giggles in the supermarket checkout line???