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Clothing the Authentic Self
By Nancy Lindquist | March 26, 2007
I hate my wardrobe. I’d say hate is too strong a word, but I do. It’s filled with comfortable clothing that looks decent and is good for a mom. Therein lies the problem. I tend to wander the house in workout attire. My attitude is that I’m going to workout at some point during the day, might as well dress for it. Which is true, but I don’t look good. I also work from home. No one sees me, but the kids. Why do I need decent clothes?
All of the above is true. The problem is, that I’m going to RT in a month and I’m going to look exactly like what I am. A housewife. There’s NOTHING wrong with being a housewife. Most of the time I love my role and what I do. It’s me and I’m proud of who I am. Still, there’s a teeny part of me who misses dressing the way I long to. Long flowing skirts, camisole tops and dangly jewelry.
I’ve tried to make it work out of my existing wardrobe. I can’t. The two pair of khaki pants I own, don’t really do it. Improvising is not possible with nothing to work with. So, I’m going to pack my boring clothes and dream of fairy dresses that make me feel feminine and graceful. I think I’m too young to dress like a frump. Maybe it’s the weight loss. I don’t know.
Will I be heartbroken if I wear mom-jeans? No, of course not. I will miss the part of me that trips through life with a light heart and the light scent of flowers in my wake. Even my perfume is old and unwearable. Smells off.
I guess I’m in mourning for a younger me. Maybe a me that never even existed. Is that possible?
March 26th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
I think that is possible. I just today learned that I’ll be going back to work in two weeks. Suddenly the jeans and tee shirts I’ve been wearing the last two years won’t be good enough. I don’t really have the money to buy new clothes, but the clothing I wore when I worked before it now old and outdated. It can be frustrating, because you have a vision of what you want to be and when you’re a busy mom, you always seem to fall short of that goal.
March 30th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Oh Nancy, I’m right where you are! At one time in the distant past, I had some interesting clothes–after all, I was the liberal arts/ theater/ choir sort, with a side helping of historical recreation thrown in. Now, I’m a homeschooling mom who lives in the country, where we scrape along on one (usually insufficient) income! I’m actually considering borrowing some clothes from my 23y.o. daughter–how sad is that? LOL I’ll be more than happy to sit beside you at RT in my “boring mom clothes”! Our scintillating personalities will blind everyone to our less than stellar wardrobes, o.k.?