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WHERE ARE MY DAMN JEANS?
By Nancy Lindquist | March 16, 2007
I’ve lost a lot of weight. I MEAN A LOT! I own four pairs of pants. I bought two of them, yesterday. It’s not one of those things where I have a closet full of clothes and I am being a fussy-pants. I literally have VERY few clothes. Since I cannot wear my cruise formal to my dad’s this weekend packing them all up matters.
I can’t find my jeans.
One pair. I have one damn pair. Sure, I bought them on sale at Old Navy a year ago, but they look good on, have a little stretch and are SUPER comfortable.
I can’t find them.
I live in an 1800 square foot double wide trailer.
What?
I’m a writer. We take a vow of poverty. In New York Times Bestseller List we trust.
It’s a NICE double wide and I am the QUEEN. So where the hell are the queen’s damn pants?
I ripped my room apart. Nada.
I ripped the boys room apart. Nill.
I tore the baby’s room to bits. El-Nothing-O
WHERE ARE MY DAMN JEANS?
My husband offered to buy me new jeans. Old Navy is busy re-modeling the women’s department. No jeans. Okay, peg leg jeans. I have a huge ass. No one with a huge ass should be allowed to wear skinny jeans. I’m starting to put a petition together to get it made into a law.
I’m just a bill.
It’s a SMALL HOUSE and I am leaving town in four hours.
WHERE ARE MY DAMN JEANS?
We cannot find them. I’m making an emergency trip to Target later this morning. I’m so fussy about my jeans that I hold out almost no hope.
This is not good.
I own three pairs of pants.
Oh, I do have an over abundance of sweat pants. That’s what I live in. I just don’t go into public with them on.
March 17th, 2007 at 9:50 am
I know what you mean, Nancy. Jeans are IMPORTANT!
I only have one pair of jeans that fit me okay. I hope you were successful at Target in finding jeans you like!
March 19th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
I’m a writer. We take a vow of poverty. In New York Times Bestseller List we trust.
March 19th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Crud. The last comment didn’t come through right. Go figure. I just said that I thought the line above was hilarious and about the sad truth of being an author.